Round and round, here we go again

When you have your heart broken into a thousand pieces, you feel like nothing is going to get you to get up. Somehow, each and every day, you achieve the impossible: you bend time. You wake up and you replay the same moment over and over again; you reenact the same conversations once and again, trying to figure out which was the moment that screwed everything up, and trying to think of something you could've said different, done different. Still, the truth will always be the same, no matter how many times you find yourself thinking about it, it will always hurt the same way. You will still wake up heart broken every day. You will still feel like you can never trust someone again. You will still feel cheated and lied to every single fucking day. Somewhere along the way, your friends will start telling you that you should move on, that the person who broke you didn't really deserve you and that somewhere out there, there's a person that will treat you right. And you know what? In time, you are going to start telling yourself this same thing -over and over again- and it's going to feel like hitting a wall repeatedly, because no matter how hard you want to believe, you will still feel like you will never be able to say those words again, to open up to someone. Sadly, that is most likely going to happen for a while. You won't be able to say things, do things. Every inch of you is going to want to scream and will beg you to do so, but you won't, because your mind knows better. You'll have so much stuff locked up inside your head that, each day you wake up, you'll feel the burden on your shoulders and you won't feel like getting up. But then, without you realizing it, you'll start wanting to believe that someone out there will make a difference; that the next person you'll meet will not hurt you. You start thinking unhealthy things, you'll start wishing you could've hurt them instead of it having been the other way round, and even tough sometimes, it will feel like you're getting nowhere, you're heading forwards. You'll start thinking your friends were right: that person did not deserve you; that person just wanted to hurt you; you do deserve better. And out of the blue, "better" comes along. You'll start feeling comfortable around someone again; you'll feel those things you cannot say; you'll think of that person every single day. However, you still have the burden chained to your feet, and you'll have to drag it along the way, even tough the pain will never seize. You won't be able to say things, because you'll be too scared or too self-conscious and you'll go to sleep wondering if that person is going to see that, if you'll chase them away. You're 210% sure that this person will bail. You're 210% sure that this person will take your heart, mend it and break it again. And you want to know what? In most cases, you'll be 240% right, but let yourself think, believe, hope that you're one of the odd cases, and that you're 300% wrong. Close your eyes and jump. If you're one of the odd cases, he or she will grab your hands and keep you from falling.

- Sí, el nombre de la entrada es como la canción

de Lindsay Lohan en "Freaky Friday".

Sí, a medida que escribía esto los pronombres tenían nombre

y apellido en mi cabeza.

Sí, en este momento lo único que mi cabeza se pregunta

es una cosa en particular.